My mom died on December 21st. I haven't blogged about it because I'm just not sure what to say. To say it has been difficult is an understatement. This is the worst pain and grief I've felt in my life. I miss her terribly.
We had a beautiful memorial service for her on December 23rd. At the service, we showed a video of pictures of her life. My sister is working on uploading that video to her website; I'll post a link as soon as it is available. I'll also post a link to the obituary when it is available. My friend Stormy wrote a very nice blog entry called "Why We'll be Terrible Old Ladies" about my friends' reactions to mom's death and her memorial service. Go to http://stormyhickman.blogspot.com/2008/12/why-well-be-terrible-old-ladies.html
We attempted a normal Christmas, and there were happy moments: playing pool in the Dixie Chicken with my kids in Santa hats on Christmas Eve, the chaos of opening presents with four kids under age four at my step-sisters on Christmas Day, cooking a yummy fajita lunch for Tom and five of his coaching buddies, opening presents from my mom.
There have also been lots of sad moments: choosing the pictures to capture her life story, cleaning out my mom's closets to make room for Linsey to move home, comforting Braden as he cried for hours, telling people who mom came across during daily life (the mailman, the neighbor, the marina people).
I've updated my playlist (at the bottom of this page) to include the George Strait song "You'll be There." This is the song that played during the slide show of mom's pictures. Mom loved George Strait.
Today is the first day of 2009--my first year without my mom. What a sad day.
4 comments:
Oh, honey. That is sad. I'm sad for you. We can only go up from here, right?
I wish I had words that are eloquent and meaningful, but I just don't. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your family. As "The Storm" said, I hope it all goes up from here.
I, too, wish I had words but I don't have many. There are always so many questions after something like this - like why did it happen now? Not that I really know what I'm talking about (back to Stormy's blog of not knowing what to say...not feeling "grown-up" enough to know what to do with losing a parent, etc.) but we always have to remember that God has a plan, a perfect plan, and He doesn't give us more than we can handle.
Erin - I cannot express how amazed I have been with how you have handled this situation. You have been so very strong when it seems like there wouldn't be any amount of strength to handle something like this.
I've been praying for and thinking about your family - including the ones I don't know or don't know well, and especially the ones I know really well and love dearly. I am so sorry this happened and I wish your entire family a blessed new year.
I love you :)
I am balling right now sitting at my computer after reading your blog. I can't even imagine how you guys made it through this holiday season. I, too, have been praying for you and your family even though I don't know you guys that well but my heart goes out to you all. April told me just how amazed she was by how you have been handling everything and how strong you have been - I am sure your family has really pulled from your strength and it has helped them through this very difficult time.
My prayers continue to go out to you and your family.
On a sidenote - you and Kyle most defintely can go on a babymoon! And I would highly recommend it - April will watch the boys!
Emily
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