Thoughts on Heaven

The boys and I have had many conversations about heaven lately. Some are pretty funny. Some make me cry.

In the days after mom died, Braden, being the literal kid that he is, accepted the fact without question. Grandma died. We're not going to see her again. She's in heaven. Garrett, at two years old, didn't quite get it. He kept mentioning Grandma and Braden would quickly say, "Grandma died. She's in heaven."

In the past week or so, Braden's been asking questions. Last week we were driving home from school and he asked, "Mom, where's heaven?" and then "Can you drive a car there?" and "Can an airplane fly there?" I attempted to answer, but how can heaven be explained to a four year old?

Yesterday, Garrett slipped out of my hand and ran out past the truck while we were in the Petco parking lot. I freaked. I grabbed him about the time he rounded the bumper and jerked him up of the ground by one arm. I shoved him into his carseat, heart pounding, and said, "Garrett don't ever run out in a parking lot. A car could have smooshed you because they wouldn't be able to see you!" Braden matter-of-factly said, "Yeah, Garrett. And if a car smooshes you, you'll be dead and then you'll be in heaven with Grandma." Oh, gosh kid. It's moments like that when I don't know whether to laugh or cry or be horrified.

Today as we were driving home Braden asked, "Mom, Grandma's in heaven, right?" When I responsed affirmatively, he said, "I can remember her shopping at Wal-Mart."

I wondered what the connection was. I don't even pretend to have an understanding of heaven, but I sure hope that there are not any Wal-Marts there. Although, knowing mom, if she had a choice of shopping at Saks or shopping at Wal-Mart, even in heaven, she'd choose Wal-Mart. And that thought made me smile.