My sister posted Mom's obituary and the video we played at her service. Check it out:
http://www.lchafin.com/lindaallen
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Conversations with Garrett
Garrett and I are sitting at the breakfast table eating lunch. He just said to me, "Mommy, I love juice. I love juice and apples. Wait! I don't love apples. I just love juice. And milky milk. I love juice, milky milk, and Cali. I really love Cali. And I love mommy, and daddy, and brother."
(Cali is our chihuahua).
I just asked, "Garrett, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
His eyes lit up and he said, "a tiger. I can be a tiger and brother can be an Elmo. I can be an Elmo like brother. Elmo has to be red."
Garrett and I aren't alone very often. When we are, he sure does talk a lot and is pretty funny.
He just told me, "Mommy, I have to get that red Elmo back" and took off running saying, "come on, Cali, we're superman."
(Cali is our chihuahua).
I just asked, "Garrett, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
His eyes lit up and he said, "a tiger. I can be a tiger and brother can be an Elmo. I can be an Elmo like brother. Elmo has to be red."
Garrett and I aren't alone very often. When we are, he sure does talk a lot and is pretty funny.
He just told me, "Mommy, I have to get that red Elmo back" and took off running saying, "come on, Cali, we're superman."
Friday, January 23, 2009
Handsome spray
Braden picked up a small spray bottle of water off of daddy's sink and exclaimed, "Hey! Handsome spray!"
Monday, January 19, 2009
A beautiful January day
What a great day! It is a sunny 66 degrees in the beautiful town of College Station, and life just doesn't get much better than this. We're all home today puttering around, doing laundry, washing cars, watching Dora, playing on the computer, pulling weeds, making a grocery list, and basically just enjoying a quiet Monday at home.
Papa and Sheri gave Braden a tunnel and tent play set for Christmas. I thought today would be a great day to pull them out. The play set has a tent, a tepee, and four tunnels that connect to a central hub. I added the tunnel and play tent we already had to create a tunnel and tent extravagana. After some tears on Braden's part ("the wind is going to break it"), the boys got down to business.
Papa and Sheri gave Braden a tunnel and tent play set for Christmas. I thought today would be a great day to pull them out. The play set has a tent, a tepee, and four tunnels that connect to a central hub. I added the tunnel and play tent we already had to create a tunnel and tent extravagana. After some tears on Braden's part ("the wind is going to break it"), the boys got down to business.
The addition of a slide made for a great obstacle course.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Fun at GrandTom's house
GrandTom is the name that Braden invented for Tom, my step-dad (although the term step-dad has never seemed quite right for him--he is so much more than that to me). We started calling him Grandad Tom, and then when Braden was about 2, he shortened it to GrandTom.
The boys have become pretty attached to GrandTom in the last few weeks. In fact, today I mentioned to Braden that we are going back home to College Station tomorrow. He said, "why? I like it at GrandTom's."
GrandTom has a great bathtub--it is a 5 ft round horse trough. And--here's the best part--it has a TV! The boys LOVE to take bubble baths and watch cartoons. Life doesn't get any greater than that!
Here's some pictures of the boys having fun at GrandTom's house. 
Friday, January 9, 2009
God's blessings
This blog is supposed to be about my kids. I'm going to hijack it for another post.
This morning I got a message on Facebook from an old friend. He and I were very close friends throughout junior high and high school. I dated his brother a couple of times, and even though that didn't work out so well, Derek and I always got along, were always friends. I thought he would be the kind of friend I would have for life: we would go to each others' weddings, etc. Then graduation day came and I moved to College Station the next day. I never saw or talked to him again. I had heard through the grapevine that he had a profound experience with God and had taken up the ministry. I was very happy for him. Last night, I saw his profile on Facebook and sent a brief message: "Hey, I always wondered where you ended up. Vermont, huh?" He replied this morning that he is a youth minister working to spread the Gospel throughout New England. He is married, has two boys, and loves the cold. Fifteen years ago, when we were high school seniors, I never would have suspected this path for him. He wrote that "God has been very kind to me." I replied a bit about my life, my husband, my kids, my job. I started to write, "God has been kind to me, too. I have the life I always wanted." I typed that out. But it wasn't right. I don't have the life I always wanted. I have the life God wanted for me. I have a beautiful house, a great family, an amazingly fulfilling job, healthy kids, and terrific friends. Thank you, God, for those blessings.
Before Christmas, before mom died, I thought a lot about writing a post about all of my friends and how thankful I am for each of them. Then mom died and my world shifted. As I adjust to this "new normal," my friends have been more important to me than ever. I've thought for two weeks about how to put into words what they each mean to me. I was going to write each of them a thank-you card with profound words of gratitude. I may still do that, but I'm also going to put some of those words here for all the world to see.
Kyle, I'll start with you. After ten years together I love you more than ever. Thank you for supporting and loving me. I admire your strength and your mind. I am thankful that you are so darn smart! I love that you can fix anything, do anything. I am very thankful for the sacrifices you make every day so that we can live in College Station. I know your commute isn't fun, but living close to my friends and my support system is so important to me. I'm glad you understand and appreciate that. Thank you for being a great dad, and thank you for accepting me as I am (messy house and all). I look forward to the day that we don't have to work so hard all the time and that we can just BE. I cannot begin to express my thanks for the rock that you have been through all of this with mom. I know you are grieving, too.
Tiffany, thank you for being my best friend. You are the one person who knows me and understands me at a depth that no one else does. Thank you for not judging and for loving me and supporting me. I love that we have so much in common and I really feel like you are a soul-mate kind of friend. I'd never met someone who is so like me, until I met you. You are the best friend that I always wanted. Someday when we are little old ladies and we have our super-cute house together we are going to have a BLAST! Thank you for being my lifeline in the awful days after mom died. Thank you for dropping whatever you were doing to help me, support me, and love me. You have no idea the depths of my gratitude to you and to your family.
Amie, if anyone understands what I go through in my day to day life, it is you. I'm so glad that we had both of our kiddos together and that our families are so close. I love our long, in-depth talks and I sure wish we had time for more of them. Thank you for helping me deal with my grief and for assuring me that I am normal and will slowly return to normal. Thank you for coming to mom's service on a day when you were supposed to be with your own family. I sure appreciate that sacrifice!
April, thank you for being so darn cool. You are the coolest girl that I know (sorry, everyone else). I love that you always go after what you want instead of living for others. I've always admired that about you. Not too many girls would just take off to travel around Costa Rica or spend so much time in the gym and on the road just for the sake of being healthy. I love your approach to fitness--for the body's sake, not for appearance. Thank you for pushing me to run. I love that you are my running buddy; we make a great team. Thank you for coming to mom's service even though you were sick! We've been friends for a long time, and I know we will be for the rest of our lives.
Stormy, thank you for being funny and smart and emotional. Thanks for being so open and honest with your own writing, your blog, and your faith. That inspires me. Thank you for not pretending to be perfect. I sometimes look around at my chaotic house and think, "it's okay. Stormy's house is chaotic, too!" I appreciate your support at work and in our personal lives. Thanks for your help the day of mom's service, for following my crazy orders without stopping to question or point out my insanity.
Courtney W., thank you for reaching out to me five years ago when we were both pregnant. I don't know how I would have made it through that first summer with Braden without you and Amie. You were (and are) an amazingly supportive friend. I love your passion for life! I love your passion for teaching and your passion for your family! When I first started teaching, I wanted to be like you so badly. Now, I'm something better: your friend. Thank you for checking on me my first day back in the classroom. I was so comforted to know that you were just down the hall anytime that I needed you.
Courtney S., it is hard for me to believe that I just met you two years ago. I'm so glad you are my neighbor. Thanks for looking out for my house in the last few weeks, and thanks for the massage gift cert.! I love your passion for your job (both the good parts and the bad parts). I admire your independence--do you feel independent? I see such a strength in you and a determination to live life for YOU, and I admire that. I can't wait to meet baby Smith and I'm going to spend lots of time at your house holding and cuddling him!
Kelly, thanks for being so fun, so creative, so professional. I admire your sense of style: your scrapbooking style, your decorating style, your fashion style. I also admire how professional you are with your job. You are amazing! Some day, when you are a head principal, I want to work for you. Thanks for coming to the mom's service, and thanks for hosting a great New Year's Eve party on a day when I really needed a distraction.
Britina, thanks for be you! I love you for your appreciation of fine country music, fine drinking establishments, and fine western wear. I love you for your passion for teaching those very difficult students. I love you for your friendship and your help throughout the last six years.
To the boys (Ryan, Scott, Chauncey, Caleb, Mike, Aaron, Patrick, Chris, Trey, Rodney). Thank you. Thanks for loving me for who I am and for being such good friends to me. I appreciate your hugs, your messages of support, and your friendship. Ryan, thanks for being my other running buddy. Thanks for letting me just talk and talk during that run the day after mom's service. Thanks for understanding that I just needed to run hard and get all the crazy emotions and thoughts out, and for understanding that running is one way that I can do that. Scott, thanks for coming to the service, and for always being a great friend. I appreciate that you and Chauncey have known me since teaching day 1 and that you accept me as I am. Chauncey, thank you for being a great friend, for checking on me in the classroom every day. Caleb, thanks for sharing your own loss with me. I feel connected to you in a way I never did before. I've really enjoyed working with you this year, and I'm so thankful that you are just right next door. Mike and Aaron, thanks for your support at work and in life, too. Patrick, Chris, Trey, and Rodney, thanks for sharing your wives with me! I love and appreciate you guys. Patrick, I am thankful that you and Amie were willing to spend so much time on the road the day of mom's service.
God sure has blessed me! Thank you, God, for answering my prayer that summer evening 6 1/2 years ago, and for granting me the job that I wanted. I just wanted the job, but what I found was much more important: my friends. Thank you for answering that other prayer two years ago and for bringing us back to College Station. Thank you for answering my prayer two and half weeks ago and for taking mom quickly and painlessly. Thank you for all of your blessings.
This morning I got a message on Facebook from an old friend. He and I were very close friends throughout junior high and high school. I dated his brother a couple of times, and even though that didn't work out so well, Derek and I always got along, were always friends. I thought he would be the kind of friend I would have for life: we would go to each others' weddings, etc. Then graduation day came and I moved to College Station the next day. I never saw or talked to him again. I had heard through the grapevine that he had a profound experience with God and had taken up the ministry. I was very happy for him. Last night, I saw his profile on Facebook and sent a brief message: "Hey, I always wondered where you ended up. Vermont, huh?" He replied this morning that he is a youth minister working to spread the Gospel throughout New England. He is married, has two boys, and loves the cold. Fifteen years ago, when we were high school seniors, I never would have suspected this path for him. He wrote that "God has been very kind to me." I replied a bit about my life, my husband, my kids, my job. I started to write, "God has been kind to me, too. I have the life I always wanted." I typed that out. But it wasn't right. I don't have the life I always wanted. I have the life God wanted for me. I have a beautiful house, a great family, an amazingly fulfilling job, healthy kids, and terrific friends. Thank you, God, for those blessings.
Before Christmas, before mom died, I thought a lot about writing a post about all of my friends and how thankful I am for each of them. Then mom died and my world shifted. As I adjust to this "new normal," my friends have been more important to me than ever. I've thought for two weeks about how to put into words what they each mean to me. I was going to write each of them a thank-you card with profound words of gratitude. I may still do that, but I'm also going to put some of those words here for all the world to see.
Kyle, I'll start with you. After ten years together I love you more than ever. Thank you for supporting and loving me. I admire your strength and your mind. I am thankful that you are so darn smart! I love that you can fix anything, do anything. I am very thankful for the sacrifices you make every day so that we can live in College Station. I know your commute isn't fun, but living close to my friends and my support system is so important to me. I'm glad you understand and appreciate that. Thank you for being a great dad, and thank you for accepting me as I am (messy house and all). I look forward to the day that we don't have to work so hard all the time and that we can just BE. I cannot begin to express my thanks for the rock that you have been through all of this with mom. I know you are grieving, too.
Tiffany, thank you for being my best friend. You are the one person who knows me and understands me at a depth that no one else does. Thank you for not judging and for loving me and supporting me. I love that we have so much in common and I really feel like you are a soul-mate kind of friend. I'd never met someone who is so like me, until I met you. You are the best friend that I always wanted. Someday when we are little old ladies and we have our super-cute house together we are going to have a BLAST! Thank you for being my lifeline in the awful days after mom died. Thank you for dropping whatever you were doing to help me, support me, and love me. You have no idea the depths of my gratitude to you and to your family.
Amie, if anyone understands what I go through in my day to day life, it is you. I'm so glad that we had both of our kiddos together and that our families are so close. I love our long, in-depth talks and I sure wish we had time for more of them. Thank you for helping me deal with my grief and for assuring me that I am normal and will slowly return to normal. Thank you for coming to mom's service on a day when you were supposed to be with your own family. I sure appreciate that sacrifice!
April, thank you for being so darn cool. You are the coolest girl that I know (sorry, everyone else). I love that you always go after what you want instead of living for others. I've always admired that about you. Not too many girls would just take off to travel around Costa Rica or spend so much time in the gym and on the road just for the sake of being healthy. I love your approach to fitness--for the body's sake, not for appearance. Thank you for pushing me to run. I love that you are my running buddy; we make a great team. Thank you for coming to mom's service even though you were sick! We've been friends for a long time, and I know we will be for the rest of our lives.
Stormy, thank you for being funny and smart and emotional. Thanks for being so open and honest with your own writing, your blog, and your faith. That inspires me. Thank you for not pretending to be perfect. I sometimes look around at my chaotic house and think, "it's okay. Stormy's house is chaotic, too!" I appreciate your support at work and in our personal lives. Thanks for your help the day of mom's service, for following my crazy orders without stopping to question or point out my insanity.
Courtney W., thank you for reaching out to me five years ago when we were both pregnant. I don't know how I would have made it through that first summer with Braden without you and Amie. You were (and are) an amazingly supportive friend. I love your passion for life! I love your passion for teaching and your passion for your family! When I first started teaching, I wanted to be like you so badly. Now, I'm something better: your friend. Thank you for checking on me my first day back in the classroom. I was so comforted to know that you were just down the hall anytime that I needed you.
Courtney S., it is hard for me to believe that I just met you two years ago. I'm so glad you are my neighbor. Thanks for looking out for my house in the last few weeks, and thanks for the massage gift cert.! I love your passion for your job (both the good parts and the bad parts). I admire your independence--do you feel independent? I see such a strength in you and a determination to live life for YOU, and I admire that. I can't wait to meet baby Smith and I'm going to spend lots of time at your house holding and cuddling him!
Kelly, thanks for being so fun, so creative, so professional. I admire your sense of style: your scrapbooking style, your decorating style, your fashion style. I also admire how professional you are with your job. You are amazing! Some day, when you are a head principal, I want to work for you. Thanks for coming to the mom's service, and thanks for hosting a great New Year's Eve party on a day when I really needed a distraction.
Britina, thanks for be you! I love you for your appreciation of fine country music, fine drinking establishments, and fine western wear. I love you for your passion for teaching those very difficult students. I love you for your friendship and your help throughout the last six years.
To the boys (Ryan, Scott, Chauncey, Caleb, Mike, Aaron, Patrick, Chris, Trey, Rodney). Thank you. Thanks for loving me for who I am and for being such good friends to me. I appreciate your hugs, your messages of support, and your friendship. Ryan, thanks for being my other running buddy. Thanks for letting me just talk and talk during that run the day after mom's service. Thanks for understanding that I just needed to run hard and get all the crazy emotions and thoughts out, and for understanding that running is one way that I can do that. Scott, thanks for coming to the service, and for always being a great friend. I appreciate that you and Chauncey have known me since teaching day 1 and that you accept me as I am. Chauncey, thank you for being a great friend, for checking on me in the classroom every day. Caleb, thanks for sharing your own loss with me. I feel connected to you in a way I never did before. I've really enjoyed working with you this year, and I'm so thankful that you are just right next door. Mike and Aaron, thanks for your support at work and in life, too. Patrick, Chris, Trey, and Rodney, thanks for sharing your wives with me! I love and appreciate you guys. Patrick, I am thankful that you and Amie were willing to spend so much time on the road the day of mom's service.
God sure has blessed me! Thank you, God, for answering my prayer that summer evening 6 1/2 years ago, and for granting me the job that I wanted. I just wanted the job, but what I found was much more important: my friends. Thank you for answering that other prayer two years ago and for bringing us back to College Station. Thank you for answering my prayer two and half weeks ago and for taking mom quickly and painlessly. Thank you for all of your blessings.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
What a sad Christmas season
My mom died on December 21st. I haven't blogged about it because I'm just not sure what to say. To say it has been difficult is an understatement. This is the worst pain and grief I've felt in my life. I miss her terribly.
We had a beautiful memorial service for her on December 23rd. At the service, we showed a video of pictures of her life. My sister is working on uploading that video to her website; I'll post a link as soon as it is available. I'll also post a link to the obituary when it is available. My friend Stormy wrote a very nice blog entry called "Why We'll be Terrible Old Ladies" about my friends' reactions to mom's death and her memorial service. Go to http://stormyhickman.blogspot.com/2008/12/why-well-be-terrible-old-ladies.html
We attempted a normal Christmas, and there were happy moments: playing pool in the Dixie Chicken with my kids in Santa hats on Christmas Eve, the chaos of opening presents with four kids under age four at my step-sisters on Christmas Day, cooking a yummy fajita lunch for Tom and five of his coaching buddies, opening presents from my mom.
There have also been lots of sad moments: choosing the pictures to capture her life story, cleaning out my mom's closets to make room for Linsey to move home, comforting Braden as he cried for hours, telling people who mom came across during daily life (the mailman, the neighbor, the marina people).
I've updated my playlist (at the bottom of this page) to include the George Strait song "You'll be There." This is the song that played during the slide show of mom's pictures. Mom loved George Strait.
Today is the first day of 2009--my first year without my mom. What a sad day.
We had a beautiful memorial service for her on December 23rd. At the service, we showed a video of pictures of her life. My sister is working on uploading that video to her website; I'll post a link as soon as it is available. I'll also post a link to the obituary when it is available. My friend Stormy wrote a very nice blog entry called "Why We'll be Terrible Old Ladies" about my friends' reactions to mom's death and her memorial service. Go to http://stormyhickman.blogspot.com/2008/12/why-well-be-terrible-old-ladies.html
We attempted a normal Christmas, and there were happy moments: playing pool in the Dixie Chicken with my kids in Santa hats on Christmas Eve, the chaos of opening presents with four kids under age four at my step-sisters on Christmas Day, cooking a yummy fajita lunch for Tom and five of his coaching buddies, opening presents from my mom.
There have also been lots of sad moments: choosing the pictures to capture her life story, cleaning out my mom's closets to make room for Linsey to move home, comforting Braden as he cried for hours, telling people who mom came across during daily life (the mailman, the neighbor, the marina people).
I've updated my playlist (at the bottom of this page) to include the George Strait song "You'll be There." This is the song that played during the slide show of mom's pictures. Mom loved George Strait.
Today is the first day of 2009--my first year without my mom. What a sad day.
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